


Talk Shit, Get Hit

by DigitalThespian



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Literally Mentioned Once, M/M, The Muddler loves his wife so goddamn much, Unnamed Original Character - Freeform, Violence, but still, he's literally in the story to get beat up, the snufmin and mymblejox are only implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 03:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20167321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalThespian/pseuds/DigitalThespian
Summary: The Muddler is a lot of things, but his tolerance will only go so far.ORThe Muddler McFreakin' loses it





	Talk Shit, Get Hit

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post, I saw the last image and my brain spit this out, so here you go!  
https://squidbiscuit.tumblr.com/post/185482599066/ʘʘ

The Muddler's jaw hung open, before he began to tremble. "_F-FUCK YOU!_ Take that back, you- you _scoundrel!_"

The other occupants of the room jumped in surprise; The Muddler hardly ever raised his voice, let alone _at_ someone!

He pointed sharply and continued, fire in his eyes. "How DARE you speak that way about my wife! I may be a coward, or a pushover, or a weakling, but I won't stand for this!!"

The crew of the Oshun Oxtra exchanged looks, unsure how to handle this new side of their friend, while the others simply stared in a mix of horror and fascination. He wasn't calming down, either; in fact, he seemed to be getting more worked up with each passing moment!

The traveler scoffed. "You say that, but you won't do anything. We all know you're a coward, you even said it yourself." With his piece said, the traveler picked up his cup with a smug smile to take a drink.

The Muddler was faster than anyone expected, and certainly too fast for anyone to stop him. There was a clatter as The Muddler stood, kicking his chair out of the way behind him. All eyes were on him, but he didn't hesitate for a moment. He snatched the pot off of his head and brought it down with a snarl, "_Guess again, asshole!_" followed by a rather graphic crunch.

There was a beat of silence, a mere moment where the world stood frozen. The Muddler stood with his arm outstretched and a feral snarl on his face, his pot obscuring the traveler's hand. The traveler wore an expression of shock which was quickly morphing to one of agony, and the crew were in the middle of leaping to their feet in a futile attempt to stop The Muddler.

There was a hoarse scream as the traveler doubled over, clutching his paw. The Muddler nodded grimly, then set his pot back on his head. He returned to his seat, righting it as he sat down, and took a long drink of his wine. After he did so, he looked back up at the traveler. "You're still here? Was that not enough for you? I can even the sides up, if you'd like." His voice was cold, and any trace of his previous timidity was nowhere to be found.

"No! I'll be going!" The traveler scrambled to leave, knocking over his chair in his haste to begin his escape.

The door slammed, and silence descended on the room. The crew exchanged another glance, unsure how to address what just happened. Yet again however, they were beaten to it by The Muddler. "I'm sorry for losing my temper in your home, Moominpappa, Moominmamma. I should have been more diplomatic."

The silence was deafening. "You.. you just.. _what?_" Moominpappa's jaw hung open, and Moominmamma continued.

"Good riddance, if you ask me. He was nothing but rude."

The Joxter spoke up next. "Muds. While you may have gone a bit overboard, I don't think any of us would have fared any better." He scowled and growled slightly. "If he had been speaking that way about my dear Mymble.." His claws dug into the table slightly, and The Mymble patted his paw gently.

"Or Moomin," Snufkin chimed in, his expression neutral, but his displeasure was obvious. Moomin simply blushed furiously, hiding his face.

Moominpappa looked over and shook his head slightly. "Snufkin, I think The Joxter was referring to a more extreme plan of action."

Snufkin looked back at him with a calculating expression, and he was suddenly all too aware that Snufkin _was_ The Joxter's son, wasn't he? "Oh, does he know a witch too?"

The Joxter whistled. "Damn kid, I would have just maimed the guy, but you're really swinging for the fences."

"_Muddler_..?" The room froze again as a new voice came from the doorway to the kitchen. The Fuzzy was staring wide eyed at her husband, who ducked his head.

"Oh, my, how much of that did you see..?" He poked his index fingers together nervously, and it was hard to believe he was the same Muddler who only moments before had shattered a man's hand without an ounce of remorse.

She strode purposefully into the room and picked The Muddler up out of his chair. "I saw enough." Before he had time to panic, The Fuzzy pulled him in sharply, planting a kiss on his lips. There were a few whistles, but she soon pulled away. "You're an easy man to love, Muddler. But don't break anyone else, okay? I'd rather bear the insults than have you carted off to jail for defending my honor. I would be far more distraught to lose you, my dear."

The Muddler's cheeks flushed, and everyone couldn't help but smile at the lovestruck look in his eyes. "O-oh. Alright, I can do that. Fighting isn't really my speed anyway,"

Hodgkins snorted. "You could have fooled me, you sure you've never done that before?"

"...I use it to crack walnuts sometimes, so my aim is really good.." The room burst into raucous laughter, The Muddler's blush intensifying even as he smiled softly.

The Fuzzy kissed her husband's cheek. "Well, this has been fun, but in light of these events I'm taking my husband back home in case that fellow comes back with the police."

She linked her arm with his, waving to the group, who waved back with a chorus of farewells. The Muddler allowed himself to be led out, and looked nervously over at his wife. "I'm not in trouble, am I..?"

She laughed briefly, then put a paw to his cheek lovingly. "Oh no, Muddler, quite the opposite. We're going to go home, put the kettle on, have a nice cup of ginseng tea, maybe light a few candles.." She stroked his cheek with her thumb, then kissed the tip of his nose playfully.

The Muddler's blush had begun to fade, but it came back in force and he nearly tripped over himself as he realized what she meant. "O-Oh!"


End file.
